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Remembering Mark Woods

June 3rd, 2008 · Character, Friends, Spiritual Journey

Mark Woods was perhaps the finest counselor I’ve ever known. While he was never my personalMark Woods 3 counselor, he was a friend for 30 years and the one person I could refer someone to without reservation. To say that Mark was special is to denigrate his significance. He went way beyond special. He was bright, engaging, but most of all he was honest. Honest and full of grace. He embraced and shared the powerful truth that there is nothing a believer could do that would cause God to stop loving him/her. That may sound like a simple concept, but Mark understood its profound power to change a person’s life for good. Along the way there would be struggles of every kind. Even defeats. But God’s loyal love would prevail.

I first met Mark when he became interested in a colleague of mine, Peggy Wehmeyer. Mark suddenly found a series of excuses to bound through the door and into the DTS PR department where PeggPeggy Wehmeyery served as director of public relations. It wasn’t long until they were dating. Peggy and I went our separate ways professionally about that time, me to consulting services for nonprofits, she to a much more glamorous gig at the local ABC affiliate, WFAA-TV. Peggy was at WFAA for about a dozen years, then moved on to ABC News in New York, working for Peter Jennings. Meanwhile, Mark completed his master’s degree in theology and went on to earn his doctorate in psychology.

Rather than abandon the faith for fortune, Mark always kept his professional practice aligned with a church. Just two, in fact, in more than two decades of helping people. I sent family and close friends to Mark, and he was invariably a great help. He didn’t create dependent people, he helped free them up to be what God uniquely designed them to be.

One of Mark’s great triumphs became his closest male friend. That friend is also my good friend, Steve Roach. For 20 years they moved together through life, probably walking thousands of miles as they stayed connected with each other, with God, and with their struggles. They were modern day David and Jonathans.

Mark, against all preconceptions, took his own life Friday, May 30, 2008. From what I know there were a handful of reasons that made sense to him in the midst of enormous loss and frustration. In short, the church shot its wounded again. But those of us who knew him and saw the product of his wisdom and grace see past the tragic moment and into the face of a good man who is now safely in the arms of a loving God who specializes in forgiveness.

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More Memories of a Great Man

May 21st, 2008 · Character, Friends, Spiritual Journey, Values

Radio Flyer
In many ways Clyde Cook’s life was defined by a little red wagon when he was just six years old. It was December 1941, the damage to the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor was done, and the Empire of Japan had turned its attack to Hong Kong. His father, a merchant ship captain, was away at sea, and he was home with his mother and siblings on one of the hills of Hong Kong. The bombing began on December 8, and by December 11 it was clear that Clyde, his brothers and sisters and their mother needed to move to safer ground. All they could take was what would fit in Clyde’s wagon.

The family, spirits kept healthy by prayer and the singing of hymns under a stairway as the bombs fell all around them, was picked up by a British military truck that drove them to safer quarters in the heart of Hong Kong. But after Hong Kong fell on Christmas Day 1941, the family was taken to different internment camps. Clyde and his sister were allowed to be with their mother in the same camp.

Clyde, a six-year-old with no small amount of energy and enthusiasm found ways to have fun in the camp, despite the fact that food was scarce, often bug infested, and sometimes rotting.

The lessons little Clyde learned in what some might call frightening, dire or even horrifying marked him for life. Not for evil, but for good. He learned early that possessions are subject to loss and therefore not what’s most important in life. He learned that God loved him, protected him, and saved him from an early death. And while these were not lessons that led him to faith in Jesus as his Savior, his lessons were profound nonetheless.

Clyde Cook told me the story I’ve just told you over dinner in Dallas, Texas in 1984. The next morning we
were to meet to kick off our new contract with Biola University. The goals was to help reverse negative trends in fundraising that had dogged the first two years of his presidency. A second goal was to restrategize and en energize student recruitment. But the meeting was cut short before it began when Clyde looked at me across the conference table and said, calmly as can be, “Jim, I think you’d better take me to the hospital. I think I’m having a heart attack. And he was.

Three days later the doctors at Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas deemed him well enough to travel back to Southern California for a follow-up visit to a cardiologist. Clyde made it as far as the Admirals Club at DFW International Airport. There he nearly died from a massive heart attack, one they call “the widow-maker.” He was rushed back to Presbyterian Hospital and spent weeks in recovery. I remember well visiting him once he was out of the woods. They had moved him to a very modest hospital suite with an adjoining room where Anna Belle spent her nights. I brought an autographed copy of Chuck Swindoll’s then-new book, Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life. Clyde and Chuck were friends then and their relationship continued to bear fruit for the rest of Clyde’s life — and even in death as Chuck brought Clyde’s memorial service message. Meanwhile, through all the trials, Anna Belle never left Clyde’s side.

A couple of months later I was at Biola University to provide creative direction for a series of photo shootsClyde after Heart Attack crop
to support a new student recruitment campaign we were doing for the school. One important adjunct was as series of new portraits of Clyde in his office and on his balcony which overlooked the growing campus. Clyde, always a big man, had lost an incredible amount of weight. It was especially striking because he didn’t appear to be overweight for his size on the day of his first heart attack. The weeks of hospitalization and recovery had made him what seemed to me to be too thin. Always one to spend little on himself, Clyde had not been able to return to Hong Kong for new suits that would fit him, and he was not about to pay U.S. prices! We had to use huge clamps on the back of his suit coat to make it appear as though it fit. We probably gathered six or eight inches of cloth!

But two very memorable things had not changed about Clyde since the physical trauma and near death: his rock-solid faith and his sense of humor. He wed the two like very few people I’ve ever known. And the combination got even better over the years of his presidency.

Clyde gave me a copy of his mother’s book that visit. It told the story of their internment by the Japanese. What an incredible story of faith and attitude triumphing over evil and the most trying of conditions. Clyde confessed that as a little boy he even managed to have some fun, and one day said to his mother, “Don’t you wish we could stay here forever!.” I don’t recall her exact answer, but it was the equivalent of a very tactful, “No.”

Clyde & Anna Belle cropPerhaps it was the foundational relationship with his mother that helped prepare and equip Clyde for his beloved Anna Belle. I’ve never heard anyone speak so collectively of life with his or her spouse. Phrases like, “Anna Belle and I . . . “ constantly rolled off his tongue. They were partners in life, partners in ministry, and most of all, partners in faith. What a great partnership. My heart hurts for Anna Belle; I cannot imagine how much she must miss Clyde. It’s at times like these that faith sees one through the darkness and into the hope of the Light.

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Reflections on a Giant

April 19th, 2008 · Character, Friends, Influencers, Leadership, Spiritual Journey

Clyde_river_clyde_rClyde Cook, named after the River Clyde in Scotland, was a giant of a man. There is no one I admire more, no one in my memory who has touched so many lives worldwide in such a personal way. But even giants don’t travel alone; this one walked with His Savior and with his greatly loved wife, friend, totally supportive partner in the journey, Anna Belle.

But, as Isaac Watts observed in his majestic O God, Our Help in Ages Past, “Time, like an ever rolling stream, Bears all its sons away. . . .”

Clyde’s public memorial service was today. You can watch it online at a wonderful microsite that Biola University has created in honor of him; don’t miss the message from Clyde himself during the last 10 minutes or so.

The memorial service lasted well over two hours and was worth every minute of it. As Chuck Swindoll noted in his message, “Clyde was a master at launching missiles of encouragement . . . he was God’s instrument to bring encouragement and so much laughter.” I would change his wording only slightly. I would say that Clyde IS a master at launching missiles of encouragement. For when Chuck had finished a second video followed, with Clyde himself speaking to us. He had recorded his words just for his memorial service. They were vintage Clyde Cook. Warm. Funny. Visionary. Scripture focused. Encouraging. Wow. I sat watching the streaming video of the service and wept as I listened once more to my dear friend.

More thoughts to come . . . and prayers for dear Anna Belle.

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A Giant Has Left Us: Clyde Cook with the Savior

April 15th, 2008 · Character, Friends, Influencers, Leadership, Spiritual Journey

Words fail to describe the impact of Dr. Clyde Cook on my life, the life of my family, and the lives of untold thousands he touched during his distinguished life and ministry. More personal thoughts will follow later. For now, here is an excellent article reprinted courtesy of Assist News Service.

Dr. Clyde Cook, former president of Biola University in Los Angeles, passes away after a massive heart attack.
By Michael Ireland, Chief Correspondent, ASSIST News Service

FULLERTON, CALIFORNIA (ANS) — Dr. Clyde Cook served as Biola University‘s president for 25 years, from 1982 to 2007, with a unique background as an educator, administrator and fourth-generation missionary. He passed away Friday, April 11, 2008.

According to the Biola website, both of Dr. Cook’s great-grandparents and grandparents were missionaries to China, and his mother followed in their footsteps. While traveling there by ship, she met her future husband, an officer on the ship, and a year later was married to this Christian sea captain from Scotland.

Born in Hong Kong, the fourth of six children, Clyde was faced with adversity at an early age when the Cook family was imprisoned in three different concentration camps during World War II. In 1942, by God’s grace they were reunited in South Africa, the website says.

After five years in South Africa, the Cooks came to the United States and settled in Laguna Beach, California, where Clyde was named California Interscholastic Federation basketball player of the year in 1953. He was offered athletic scholarships to thirteen different major universities.

The Biola website says Clyde received his Bachelor of Arts degree from Biola University (1957) and his Master of Divinity (1960) and Master of Theology (1962) from Talbot Theological Seminary. He earned his Doctor of Missiology (1974) at Fuller Theological Seminary.

After graduating from Biola, Clyde served as the school’s Athletic Director from 1957 to 1960. From 1963-1967 he and his wife, Anna Belle, were missionaries with O.C. Ministries (then known as Overseas Crusades) in Cebu City in the Philippines. During this time Clyde participated in pastors’ conferences, city-wide crusades, lay institute training, youth conferences and Bible school teaching. He traveled extensively, visiting more than 72 countries in athletic and drama evangelism and to represent Biola University. In 1971, he spent six months in the Philippines helping to set up theological extension education programs.

Returning to Biola in 1967 as an Assistant Professor of Missions, Clyde was then appointed Director of Intercultural Studies and Missions and helped to develop Biola’s nationally acclaimed program in cross-cultural education. Called to the presidency of O.C. Ministries in 1978, he ably guided the mission organization to an increased level of financial stability and multiplied foreign field effectiveness.

Clyde served on the Biola Board of Trustees from 1980 to 1982 when he was invited by a unanimous vote of the Board to assume the seventh presidency of Biola University on June 1, 1982 and became president emeritus on July 1, 2007.

The Biola website says Dr. Cook served for seven years on the Board of Directors of the Council for Christian Colleges and Universities, and one year as its chair. He also served for six years on the Board of Directors of the American Association of Independent Colleges and Universities, and served as the president of that organization for two years. He served on the Western Association of Schools and Colleges accreditation task force as well as serving as a member of the steering committee for the Fellowship of Evangelical Seminary Presidents. He served for six years on the executive committee of the Association of Independent Colleges and Universities of California.

An article entitled: “Well Done — With integrity and conviction, President Clyde Cook guided Biola to national prominence” by Holly Pivec, states that after 25 years as Biola’s president, Clyde Cook retired in June, 2007 a year before the school’s 100th anniversary.

Pivec writes that ranked as a “National University” by U.S. News & World Report — the only evangelical school that the magazine groups with the “major leagues” of higher education — Biola is one of the fastest-growing universities in the nation. It boasts new campus buildings, top Christian scholars among its faculty, and one of the largest operating budgets in the Council for Christian Colleges & Universities.

Cook became president in 1982, a year after Biola transitioned from a college to a university. At that time, Biola was facing serious challenges. It had just entered a decade of declining enrollment and dwindling finances. Department funds were being slashed, and staff and faculty salaries were frozen. Discouragement set in across campus.

Most universities saw sharp declines in enrollment in the 1980s, after the number of Baby Boomers peaked. Biola’s enrollment dropped from 3,181 in 1980 to 2,566 in 1989 — 615 students. On top of that, the year before Cook took over, the University received about 20 percent less donations than it had planned for; yet, it adopted a 17 percent higher budget, creating about a 37 percent shortfall. Cook had to quickly cut $1.3 million.

In Pivec’s article, Dr. Ed Thurber, who has served as a math professor at Biola since 1971., was quoted as saying: “Dr. Cook is really a man of the Lord. That came out early in his presidency. There was no doubt about how he loved the Lord and how that was central to everything.”

Cook faced an unforeseen obstacle two years into his presidency. At age 49, he had a major heart attack, a type so serious that it’s called “the widowmaker” — 100 percent blockage of his heart’s left main artery. Cook remained in critical condition for five days and was hospitalized for 24. Many people feared that his term as president would be cut short.

However, says Pivec, Cook recovered and became Biola’s longest-serving president and one of the most beloved. He also became one of the longest-serving university presidents in the nation in a career where the average tenure is seven years at a private school and five years at a public one, according to the American Council on Education.
Pivec says perseverance was nothing new to Cook, who faced adversity at an early age.

A Missionary at Heart

Cook, a fourth generation missionary, never aspired to be a university president, but, instead, always saw himself as a missionary. Born in 1935, Cook grew up in Hong Kong. When the Japanese invaded in 1941, he, his parents and five siblings were imprisoned for six months in three separate concentration camps. They nearly starved to death — as many of their fellow prisoners did — on a diet of rice and soup made with only a few Chinese greens.

Pivec says they later settled in Laguna Beach, California, where Cook excelled on his high school basketball team. As the 1953 California Interscholastic Federation’s “Basketball Player of the Year,” Cook received lucrative scholarship offers from 13 colleges and universities. He planned to play for the University of Southern California, but, two weeks before classes started, he began to rethink his priorities. “I wanted to invest my life in something that would last for eternity,” Cook said.

Pivec says Cook enrolled at Biola Bible College to prepare for professional Christian ministry. There, he met his wife, Anna Belle Lund (’55), and earned three degrees: a bachelor’s degree in Bible, a master of divinity and a master of theology. After a five-year stint as Biola’s athletic director and coach of the men’s sports teams, he, Anna Belle and their two young children, Laura and Craig, left as missionaries to the Philippines. But they returned four years later for Cook to head Biola’s missions department, which he did for 12 years. In 1979, Cook was appointed the president of Overseas Crusades, a missions agency (now called O.C. International), succeeding evangelist Luis Palau.

Pivec says that Biola’s Board of Trustees watched as Cook grew Overseas Crusades and increased its financial stability. So, when then-president Dick Chase left in 1982 to become the president of Wheaton College, the Board invited Cook to be Biola’s seventh president.

According to Pivec, after praying about the offer, Cook felt he could do more to influence world missions as the president of a Christian university than he could as the president of a missions agency. So, with the blessing of Overseas Crusades’ board, he accepted their offer.

When Cook stepped into his new office, he knew, first off, that he needed to change some minds. Now a university, Biola needed to start seeing itself as one, says Pivec.
Changing the Mindset

Many people on campus still thought of Biola more like a Bible college — or even a church — than an academic institution, and it was run accordingly. An incident early in Cook’s presidency illustrates this mindset.

One of Cook’s first actions was to get women on the Board of Trustees. Although more than half of the students were women, some Board members felt that the Bible prohibited female leadership of a Christian institution. Cook felt otherwise. When he broached the issue, however, there was stiff opposition. Still, the issue kept bugging him. So, a year later, he brought it up again. Cook wrote a paper arguing that the Bible addressed female leadership in a church, not an academic institution like Biola. His argument took hold. “For the Board, it wasn’t a bias against women; some members felt it was compromising with the Bible,” Cook said.

The dawning realization that Biola was a university helped change their minds. A year later, they voted to bring Carol (Carlson) Lindskog onto the Board. “Carol has done such a good job,” Cook said, adding that, since then, three more women have joined her.

Cook also began to set up a university structure for Biola, under the direction of then-provost and senior vice president, Dr. Robert Fischer. The entire advancement division — including student recruitment, marketing and fundraising — was created under Cook’s watch.

Under Cook, Biola also added graduate programs that strengthened its academic profile, including three new schools: the School of Intercultural Studies, the School of Professional Studies and the Crowell School of Business.

In Pivec’s article, Cook’s close friend, Chuck Swindoll, the founder of Insight for Living radio ministry and the chancellor of Dallas Theological Seminary, said: “Dr. Cook treats everyone the same. It doesn’t matter if they’re a tenured faculty member or a first-year student.”

Even the timing of Cook’s retirement has been viewed as an example of his humility, since it gave the new president the limelight during Biola’s centennial celebration.

Under Cook, and at the urging of Wes Willmer, the vice president of university advancement, the University Planning Group was also launched, which has helped define Biola’s niche in higher education as Protestant, evangelical, non-denominational and theologically conservative. As Biola has honed in on these distinctives — especially in communicating its conservative evangelical stances — enrollment and financial support have gone up, according to Willmer. The University Planning Group also has helped formulate Biola’s vision to become “a global center for Christian thought and spiritual renewal.”

Faith and Academics

Many secular universities have treated faith as antagonistic to academics, or at least as periphery to it. But, for Cook, Christianity has always been the core of an education.

In that light, says Pivec, Cook kept the requirement that all undergraduate students take 30 semester-units in Bible, making Biola one of only two schools to require this many units in the 105-member Council for Christian Colleges & Universities.

Cook also encouraged faculty to teach every discipline from a biblical worldview by introducing “faculty integration seminars,” where faculty are taught how to combine their faith with their disciplines. A “seventh-semester sabbatical” was also created, which allows professors to apply for a research leave every seven semesters — if they are doing research that combines their faith with their fields –– instead of waiting seven years for a sabbatical.

Cook also hired faculty who would strengthen Biola academically, but who were also ministry minded, according to Dollar. “Schools tend to go in one direction or the other, but Dr. Cook moved the school in both of those directions at the same time,” Dollar said.

Cook, himself, believed one of his biggest achievements was “maintaining Biola’s spiritual dynamic and not compromising it for the sake of secular academic respectability.”

The key for keeping Biola on track, doctrinally, was its faculty, according to Cook.

Another one of Cook’s doctrinal legacies is his commitment to inerrancy — the teaching that the Bible is without error in its original manuscripts. Though some Christians urged Cook to drop this doctrine — considering it unimportant — many Biolans have applauded Cook for his staunch stance.

As a missionary, Cook also saw everything in light of the Great Commission. To keep Biola’s historical thrust on missions, he turned the small missions department into an entire school — the School of Intercultural Studies — and he fought to keep the annual missions conference, even though it takes away three days from classes.

Cook also broadened Biola’s understanding of missions, urging all students to see themselves as missionaries — not just those headed for cross-cultural ministry. During graduation ceremonies, he often reminded them that they were entering their mission fields — in the boardrooms, public schools and film studios.

This missionary zeal, applied to all careers, has resulted in a new era of impact for Biola, says Pivec.

Progressive Evangelicalism

Cook’s mainstreaming of missions led Biola to new ways of influencing the culture, Pivec says. The film program, for example — known as one of the nation’s top Christian film programs — has produced graduates like Scott Derrickson (’89, ’90), the co-writer and director of the successful, spiritually themed “Exorcism of Emily Rose” (Sony Pictures, 2005).

The Torrey Honors Institute, an honors program for undergraduate students, was started in 1996. The Master of Arts in Philosophy of Religion and Ethics Program is viewed widely as the leading one of its kind, and it boasts more than 100 graduates in top Ph.D. programs for philosophy, including the University of Notre Dame.

Pivec credits the growing reputations of programs like this for causing major media outlets to seek Biola for an evangelical perspective, including, in recent years, The New York Times Magazine, ABC News’ Nightline and the BBC.

These programs have also contributed to several years of record enrollments at Biola, she says.

Unprecedented Growth

Since Cook’s arrival, Biola’s enrollment nearly doubled to 5,752 — a growth that has outpaced public, private and many other Christian colleges and universities.

The campus also has been built up, including the purchase of 20 acres that adjoin the campus in 1988 and the additions of a state-of-the-art athletic field, a tennis complex, two new residence halls and a new library. Construction is underway on a 32,000-square-foot classroom building that will house Crowell School of Business.

Off campus, Biola has added six extension sites throughout Southern California and three overseas: in Chiang Mai, Thailand; Klaipeda, Lithuania; and Kiev, Ukraine. Another one is planned for Manhattan, New York.

The profile of incoming students has also improved, with the average GPA going up from 3.15 to 3.53 and the average SAT going up from 1025 to 1125.

The endowment, virtually non-existent in 1982, is now over $43.5 million. And the budget has grown nearly ten times, from about $13 million to over $125 million. Net assets have grown from $33 million to $115 million.

After his retirement, Cook took the office of president emeritus to serve Biola however the new president desired, says Pivec. Cook believed the biggest challenge for his successor would be fundraising for the nearly $200 million in new buildings, including a larger building for Talbot School of Theology; expansions of Sutherland Hall, Crowell Hall, Bardwell Hall and the Student Union Building; a four-story classroom building; a five-level parking garage and a convocation center.

After his retirement, Cook also planned spend time with Anna Belle, their children and six grandchildren, including their oldest grandchild, Candace, who was then a freshman at Biola.

Pivec says some of Cook’s best memories are commencement ceremonies, seeing eager graduates going out to fulfill Biola’s mission of impacting the world for Christ. “The world needs a place like Biola that does not compromise, that’s rigorous in its academic programs — a place where parents can send their children, not to have their values undermined, but built up,” Cook said.

At his retirement, many Biolans said they couldn’t imagine Biola without Cook. But Cook always reminded himself that he’s the temporary office holder and wanted to hold his work at Biola lightly, Pivec writes.

“It’s so easy for me to think I’m Mr. Biola,” Cook said at the time. “But there were presidents before me and presidents will come after me,” he said. “This is God’s work and it’s His mission, and He’s going to see it through.”

** Michael Ireland, Chief Correspondent of ANS, is an international British freelance journalist who was formerly a reporter with a London newspaper and has been a frequent contributor to UCB Europe, a British Christian radio station. Michael’s involvement with ASSIST News Service is a sponsored ministry department — Michael Ireland Media Missionary (MIMM) — of ACT International at: Artists in Christian Testimony (ACT) International.
ASSIST News Service (ANS) – PO Box 609, Lake Forest, CA 92609-0609 USA
www.assistnews.net — E-mail: assistnews@aol.com

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A Double Tragedy . . . and a Friend Is Lost

March 11th, 2008 · Friends

LynnflintshawThe sad story was the lead story on Dallas TV news tonight. Rufus and Lynn Flint Shaw dead in a murder-suicide. The pain that led to this event must have been immense. Who can blame them for feeling it so deeply. After years of involvement with city hall and the arts programs of Dallas, Lynn deserved better treatment. And so did Rufus. Sure, he could be angry at times, but I liked him. He was a forthright man who survived very ugly times as a college student who broke color lines and excelled.

The end came around a measly $7,500 debt. There were hundreds of us who would have covered it had we known it would come to this. But the attack dogs hounded her instead. How very tragic.

Lynn was my friend. Most knew her for her politics and influence. I knew her as a talented therapist who worked with children with developmental challenges. Autism was a specialty that she and her staff tackled especially well. Not many can say that.

I was not and certainly am not numbered among Dallas’s power elite. Yet Lynn was always as warm and caring for me as anyone could want. It wasn’t all power. It wasn’t all politics. She had a big heart inside. I shall miss her in many ways. I grieve for their son, a college senior, only child, and once I a little boy I watched grow from afar, learning what I did by the affection in his mother’s voice.

Lynn, Rufus . . . I hope I see you in heaven someday. Thank God it’s about grace, and not about accusation and indignation.

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William Butler Yeats on Tragedy & Joy

February 28th, 2008 · Honest Reflections, Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized

William Butler Yeats, Irish poet and Nobel Prize for Literature winner, captures my aging sense of the flow of life in this fallen and broken world:

“Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him during temporary periods of joy.”

This life is full of thorns and thistles. God didn’t make the world that way . . . we brought it on ourselves when we decided that we were much smarter than we turned out to be.

I relearn the truth of our sad condition in many ways and on many days. Today I weep once more for hurts, damage done in the name of independence. I weep over the wounds that friends, colleagues . . . and I carry through this life. It is an unfolding tragedy waiting for Divine redemption. And the road is mercilessly long. I pray I am able to show a fraction of the grace I receive.

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Warm Frost on a Winter's Day

February 26th, 2008 · Values

Two roads
diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, The Road Less Traveled

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Simon & Garfunkel on a Winter's Day

February 25th, 2008 · Honest Reflections, Uncategorized

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don’t talk of love,
But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

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Ain't Talkin'

February 19th, 2008 · Character, Uncategorized

As I walked out tonight in the mystic garden
The wounded flowers were dangling from the vine I was passing by yon cool crystal fountain
Someone hit me from behind

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Through this weary world of woe
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
No one on earth would ever know
They say prayer has the power to heal
So pray for me, mother
In the human heart an evil spirit can dwell
I am a-tryin’ to love my neighbor and do good unto others
But oh, mother, things ain’t going well

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
I’ll burn that bridge before you can cross
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
There’ll be no mercy for you once you’ve lost
Now I’m all worn down by weeping
My eyes are filled with tears, my lips are dry
If I catch my opponents ever sleeping
I’ll just slaughter ‘em where they lie

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Through the world mysterious and vague
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Walkin’ through the cities of the plague.
Well, the whole world is filled with speculation
The whole wide world which people say is round
They will tear your mind away from contemplation
They will jump on your misfortune when you’re down

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Eatin’ hog eyed grease in a hog eyed town.
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Some day you’ll be glad to have me around.
They will crush you with wealth and power
Every waking moment you could crack
I’ll make the most of one last extra hour
I’ll revenge my father’s death then I’ll step back

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Hand me down my walkin’ cane.
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Got to get you out of my miserable brain.
All my loyal and my much-loved companions
They approve of me and share my code
I practice a faith that’s been long abandoned
Ain’t no altars on this long and lonesome road

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
My mule is sick, my horse is blind.
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Thinkin’ ‘bout that gal I left behind.
Well, it’s bright in the heavens & the wheels are flyin’
Fame and honor never seem to fade
The fire gone out but the light is never dyin’
Who says I can’t get heavenly aid?

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Carryin’ a dead man’s shield
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Walkin’ with a toothache in my heel
The sufferin’ is unending
Every nook and cranny has its tears
I’m not playing, I’m not pretending
I’m not nursin’ any superfluous fears

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Walkin’ ever since the other night.
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
Walkin’ ‘til I’m clean out of sight.
As I walked out in the mystic garden
On a hot summer day, a hot summer lawn
Excuse me, ma’am, I beg your pardon
There’s no one here, the gardener is gone

Ain’t talkin’, just walkin’
Up the road, around the bend.
Heart burnin’, still yearnin’
In the last outback at the world’s end.

Music and words by Bob Dylan
Copyright 2006 Special Rider Music

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Am I a True Friend to Anyone? They to Me?

February 19th, 2008 · Spiritual Journey

Tim Keller, once again, said something that drove deep into my soul:

“A true friend always lets you in . . . and never lets you down.”

Am I that kind of friend to anyone? I think so. I hope so. I have a few people in my life who return that favor. But not many after six decades of whatever it is that has diverted my attention. I suppose achievement has been my god — but not my friend.

C.S. Lewis’s famous passage from The Weight of Glory speaks to this issue well:

“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations–these are mortal, and their life is to
ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work
with, marry, snub, and exploit–immortal horrors or everlasting
splendours. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We
must play. But our merriment must be of the kind (and it is, in fact,
the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the
outset, taken each other seriously–no flippancy, no superiority, no
presumption. And our charity must be real and costly love, with deep
feeling for the sins in spite of which we love the sinners–no mere
tolerance, or indulgence which parodies love as flippancy parodies
merriment. Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the
holiest object presented to your senses.”

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