The last 10 days have been extraordinarily difficult physically, and Tuesday I really hit the wall. Went home a little early for only the second time since starting chemo. Then I really crashed. I won’t bore you with the details, but physically I’m at a very difficult place, and there is no relief on the immediate horizon.
The good news, really good news, is that as I was laying in bed last evening — in and out from 5:00 p.m. through the entire night — the wall that I was laying at the foot of turned out to be the Rock.
It’s hard to explain — but wonderful to experience — that even in the depth of physical trauma, God is there for us. Not to obliterate the suffering, but to give me hope, peace, and comfort in the midst of it.
There is nothing like the peace of God. Nothing.
There is a great Scottish hymn that takes on greater meaning in the shadow of the Rock:
Be Thou my Vision,
O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.
Be Thou my Wisdom,
and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.
Be Thou my battle
Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.
Riches I heed not,
nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of
heaven, my victory won,
May I reach heaven’s joys, O bright heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.